oh baby you, you got what i need

ever get that feeling that it's completely perfect? i have and it's awesome.
~~~~~~
evan texted me tonight and said:
"so you probably don't want to hear this but i miss you horribly, if there's ever a chance for round two i'll do it better, i'm done working myself to death and i'm not happy about how lazy and indecisive i was "
you know what was funny (and i shouldnt be uncaring towards his feelings) it didn't affect me any. i am so super happy with the decision i made. i did it to make myself happy and it worked. i had nothing in common with evan and it took me meeting myself incarnate to realize just how happy i could be with someone else. and the strange part is what makes me happy lives 500 miles away and that doesn't make it shitty at all. i don't care how far i'd have to drive, i want this more than anything. i tried to explain to shawn how he makes me feel but i don't think it came out right. i tried to say how young and careless i feel with him but it isn't in a bad way. it's in a refreshing way. i don't do anything but laugh and smile when we talk. after being with devin i tried to grow past the "like someone as soon as you meet them" feeling and diving head first into a relationship. when i met evan we took things as slow as a sloth! i acted very adult and we never even really mentioned to each other any sort of feeling. he never once told me he liked me or that i was beautiful to him. he didn't even have a public relationship with me. stupid me. all along i thought that was how adults handled emotion. WRONG. i know it's early in this relationship but it is already fantastic. we haven't even had sex and i'm on top of the world. i guess that's what true chemistry feels like. it's brilliant. shawnsy tells me i'm pretty and tells me he wants to be with me. he makes me smile and want to wake up just so i can text him or talk. i feel incredible. i can't wait to see him again. only 8 days left.